Two years ago my life changed. I left a relationship of 12 years to a man who supported my never-ending quest for more and filled my deep need of safety (something that I was apparently robbed of as a child... revealed my therapist). He is the father of my three beautiful girls, which forever ties us and in a strange way, he will always be in my heart because of this.

I had what some would call an identity crisis. I fell in love with a woman. I’m talking movie like romance (insert movie title here) type of shit - stars, hearts, bunnies, and rainbows. Nothing else mattered. I thought I had finally figured it out. Fast forward two years later, recovering from our third break-up/make-up tango, something clicked. I finally realized that my happiness does not rely on someone else’s approval of me. It doesn’t stem from someone else’s state of mind or how safe they make me feel. If I was going to have any chance at happiness, I had to stop blaming others, highlighting others’ shortcomings and drawing a connection from them to my ultimate sense of fulfillment. I had to start looking at myself and working from within.

I created Holding Space because I’ve met so many people just like me, lives upended by change and loss, at crossroads and seeking answers. I discovered a handful of books that catapulted my journey of self-work and the difficult task of looking inward. I began to see the benefits of meditation and joined a group where I’m learning about different tools and how to practice them in everyday situations. My relationships have began to flourish (especially the one I have with myself), directly benefitting from all this work and I wanted to share it. I want Holding Space to be a refuge for seekers, where we can recharge and find ways to reconnect back to ourselves. Together we can build a community that nurtures listening with compassion, kindness, acceptance, openness and is free of judgement. I’m in no means an enlightened guru of any sorts. As it turns out, I haven’t figured anything out, my journey is just here, in this moment.

Marichelle Hills
(Owner, MEUS / Founder, Holding Space)